Quitting: the act of freeing or ridding one self of something.
Quitting is a good thing. It can be a freeing and rewarding experience. If done the right way it rids us of the negative that is holding us down.
We are designed to be growing, to always be getting bigger and better. If something is holding us back from our goals or achieving something greater we need to know how to quit it to allow us the freedom to move forward. This is quite obvious when we think about things like quitting a habit whether it be smoking, drinking or eating.
But what happens when quitting itself becomes a habit. Have you ever thought about that? What if we quit the things that are meant to help us grow; the things that are good for you?
When you develop a habit, any habit, it is processed into your subconscious so that you eventually do it without thinking. It just becomes routine and you never need to think about it. What happens when we have the habit of quitting our jobs, relationships or hobbies?
For all you know you have been quitting the things that you should have hung on to but have been hostage to an internal habit.
It may be time to reassess your self to see if quitting is actually done because it is necessary or if it is a habit.
One of the first clues is your excitement at the start of things. If you love the idea of having, being or doing something, but then a few short days later you have absolutely no interest in it, this could be a sign that you are a habitual quitter.
Here are some things to look at:
- Do you start a book and stop it after about the 3rd or 4th chapter?
- Do you start a project, get bored, and then start another one?
- Do you join a group or membership but then decide afterwards you don’t want to go?
- Do you sign up for an event but then you don’t go?
- Do you have a great idea, get all excited about it, and then after a day or two decide it was silly and then reject it?
- Do you start a job or business then after a few months you leave?
- Do you start and end personal relationships regularly?
Now there may be legitimate reasons for rejecting or leaving any of these examples. The key is to look at your reasons and analyze if they warranted your leaving.
When the habit of quitting is impressed upon you subconsciously, you will look for and find legitimate reasons to quit. And if they are not there, you will create them yourself.
This may sound ridiculous, but habits have such a strong hold on you, that they make you do things that are totally unreasonable and illogical. Ask any smoker. I’ll guarantee 99% want to quit but can’t, even when they know it is killing them.
That is how strong a habit can be.
You can actually have the habit of rejecting “opportunity”.
If you have the habit of quitting, it is taking control of you, even though it sounds unreasonable and illogical our mind and body will continue with the habit.
When you get to a point with anything in your life where you are stepping out of a comfort zone, or you have to cross a boundary you have subconsciously set in your mind, you are programmed to stop.
You may stop reading this article right about here because you are entering new territory!
In my consulting practice we call this the “terror barrier”. When triggered, your nervous system is actually reacting in terror at the new thought or action usually when facing change. But when you know the steps and the ways to walk through the feeling, you can learn to break through this false barrier.
If you are finding yourself quitting things, people and events, try asking yourself these questions.
- What is the feeling I am having right now that is making me want to quit? When you understand what you are feeling you can begin to look at ways to move from it. Is it fear, anxiety or worry? These are usually emotions that are in our minds and non-existent unless we make them. Is it really a valid issue?
- What happened at this moment that triggered this feeling? Sometimes it is not the moment that is affecting you but a trigger to a past event or feeling that is being reignited. Could there be a recurring thing that someone says or does that brings you to this feeling? Are you reacting to an old event and relating today to yesterday? If you are reacting to things based on an old imprint, then it’s time to find out what is programmed and correct it.
- What can I do to change the situation so that I am not faced with the issue again? Changing paradigms that are engrained in us subconsciously is a process and can produce amazing results. Using a mentor or consultant gives you the strength and motivation to break through the barrier when you cannot do it yourself.
Sometimes we quit when we know we can do something bigger and better and feel powerless. If this is the case, analyze what you can do with the situation you are in to make things bigger and better. You just may be outgrowing your current situation and others want to grow as well but do not know how. You may be the catalyst. Rather than walking away, find a way to move you and others forward.
Being aware of the quitting habit is the first step to changing it. It is a behavior that took a long time to learn and impress into your mind.
Learn a new behavior that will eventually override the old one. Make breaking barriers your new habit. Always look for opportunities, new things and new ideas in every situation. Eventually you will get into the habit of achieving!
Fran Banting
