I’ve heard that to truly know someone is to see them in a stressful situation. But I like to look at people in every day situations.
We know that if someone is very well dressed and very neat their home will probably look the same way. How many times have you heard that to truly know someone look at their shoes?
And what about a person’s car? Is it messy, full of garbage and dirt? This can pretty much guarantee that they are like this at home as well. If you are looking for a roommate maybe check out their car first.
But aside from looks I believe that this is the same with the character of people. If you work with someone who is always deceitful with their boss, looking for ways to get out of doing some work, I can only assume that they are like this in their lives with their friends, family and spouse. Being entitled and trying to get something for free or with no effort is not a very attractive trait.
And what about those people that are so passionate, about everything at work, a phone call, their jobs, their clients. I will let you use your imagination with this one but I would tend to guess that their bedroom life would be comparable.
That organized individual in your workplace that has to have everything in order, I would not plan a surprise party for that person. Plenty of notice and a proper invitation to allow them to prepare would be your best bet.
All of these traits are some form of habit. People have adapted to their own ways based on how they were raised and from their environment. Perhaps they were rewarded for their behaviour or worse forced into this behaviour because of their surroundings. People do what they have to do to survive. The question is whether this behaviour is serving them in their role now.
Take a look at your behaviour in situations and see how you react to certain things. Are you reactive or defensive? If so, what are you trying to protect? If you can figure this out, there may be a lot of opportunities for you in the world that you are not letting into your life.
Are you quiet, subdued and afraid to state your opinion? What are you afraid will happen if you do assert yourself? Chances are you have a lot to say that people need to hear.
It is so much more peaceful when we can be ourselves and be proud that we did was what we truly felt inside instead of beating ourselves up later with the back talk of why we didn’t speak up, or worse, why we did say what we said and hurt someone’s feelings.
We have many behavioural traits that we have acquired throughout our lives. It is important that we find out our true self and allow that person out to grow.
It will surprise you who you will find.