Do you feel misunderstood,never having the right words at the right time, or you are talking but no one is listening?
Many people have an idea, a book or a cause that is very important to them, and they never move forward because they can’t seem to be heard. No matter how hard they try, people are not interested in listening.
For those that struggle with this, there is one of two things that can happen. They get frustrated at not being heard, and in anger begin to yell and push their message forcefully on people, which actually can cause backlash and repel people. The other alternative is to quit trying altogether, forever keeping the message to themselves.
Both of these avenues end with the idea, the book, or the message not being sent. A sad thought, especially if that message was something that could save time, money or even a life.
I remember hearing a story about Bob Dylan when he first started out as a singer. He had a different style than other singers of his time. He was a one-man show with a harmonica and guitar strapped to his body. This image along with his style of voice was not the norm.
One particular time, he was on the stage and the crowd decided they didn’t care to listen to him. For whatever reason, they drowned out his singing and playing with yelling and talking. Not an unusual occurrence for performers, and on many occasions has caused singer to walk off the stage.
Rather than getting upset and walking off or reacting negatively to their feedback, Bob did something quite the opposite. He took hold of the microphone and did something odd. He began to whisper into the microphone. He talked below the level of the crowd. He just kept muttering up there on the stage.
The people in the audience, quite surprised at his actions, one by one stopped talking to hear what he was saying. Before long the entire room was silent so that they could hear him clearly. Once everyone was quiet, Bob quietly composed himself and began playing again.
It wasn’t so much that people didn’t want to hear his music he just had to find a way to get their attention.
If people aren’t listening to you, then it may be the way you are delivering your message. If what you are doing isn’t working, then perhaps it’s time to look at your method.
Here are some points to consider:
a) You may be sending the message, “don’t listen to me”. If you do not believe in yourself or your cause, no one else will. Your actions and your energy project from you with every movement of your body exactly what you are thinking. If you do not trust yourself or believe in yourself you will actually be pushing people away. You are sending the message, “don’t trust me, because I don’t trust me”. Take a closer look at your belief. Are you truly in sync with the message you are trying to deliver?
b) You may be forcing yourself on others. If you are imposing your beliefs on others, they may be resisting you right from the start because their beliefs do not match yours. It is one thing to share your beliefs with someone it is another to impose them. Allow people to learn gradually and understand your thoughts. Remember, people like change they do not like to be changed.
c) You may be talking too much. Sometimes we are so passionate about something we just keep talking about it over and over again. People may want to ask questions or simply share their thoughts with you. If you are not listening to people and sharing information as you go, people may feel like you are talking at them, not to them. Pay attention to other peoples thoughts. When you build rapport you will find people will engage with you more. Teach rather than preach and people will begin to ask you questions.
d) Are you walking the talk? People will judge you more on your actions than on your words. If you are sending a message verbally about something you believe in, yet your actions are the opposite, people will eventually not want to hear what you have to say. If you really want people to hear you, consider your actions. People will watch you and see your beliefs come to life and will be more willing to hear about your message when they see you walking the talk.
e) Why do you want them to hear you? Consider the reason it is important for you to have others hear you. If you are satisfying a need in yourself, then perhaps you are impressing on the wrong people. Perhaps you should focus on why you need people to hear you. If it is to help others achieve something or to make something better for other people, then it is very important you look at the way you are delivering the message. But, if it is for you to get some sort of satisfaction, like attention, then you need to look inwards at why. It may be that the problem isn’t your message not being sent it could be that there is no message to send.
Bob Dylan showed his beliefs on the stage very loud and clear. He had a goal to be a singer and share his music with the world. He had a belief and wanted to share his messages through his lyrics. He was all about peace and understanding and he not only wrote about it, he composed himself with peace and understanding.
He believed in his messages, his songs, his talent and he managed it so that people heard him. He walked the talk and people respected him for it. He became, and still is, one of the greatest musicians of all time.
When you are passionate about something and feel the need to share, look at your intentions. When you are confident and sure about your message, people will pay attention to you. Even if you whisper.